forked from buzzert/smartbar
126 lines
4.8 KiB
HTML
126 lines
4.8 KiB
HTML
<style>
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@font-face {
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font-family: "Aerosoldier";
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src: url("assets/font/aerosoldier.otf");
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}
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div#body {
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columns: 2;
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font: 8.4pt 'Times New Roman', serif;
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padding: 0.5in;
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background-color: white;
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}
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.drop-cap::first-letter {
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float: left;
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font-size: 4em;
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line-height: 0.8;
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padding-right: 8px;
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padding-top: 0px;
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font-weight: bold;
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font-family: Georgia, serif;
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}
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.drop-cap {
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text-indent: 0 !important;
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}
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h1, h2 {
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color: black;
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}
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h1 {
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font-family: Aerosoldier, Helvetica, sans-serif;
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font-size: xx-large;
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margin-bottom: 0;
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}
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h2 {
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font-size: small;
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font-style: italic;
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font-weight: normal;
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color: black;
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}
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#body p {
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color: black;
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text-indent: 2em;
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text-align: justify;
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text-justify: inter-word;
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hyphens: auto;
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overflow-wrap: break-word;
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}
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</style>
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<div id="body" class="page-base">
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<h1>Street Geek</h1>
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<h2>By <strong>Bram Noidz</strong></h2>
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<p class="drop-cap">
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My day in meatspace wasn't going well. I woke up in the late morning and acquired the day's
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outfit using my usual clothing drawer LIFO mechanism. This week's permutation of clothing in the
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drawer left me with a depressingly common combination: black t-shirt with black jeans. I thought
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for a brief second that I should break out of the LIFO ordering and make a daring attempt at a
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more arbitrarily stylish outfit. Brief panic attack. Ultimately I decided against it. <i>The
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purpose of a system is what it does.</i> If I decide for even one day to ignore my LIFO
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clothing system, then it really is no system at all.
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</p>
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<p>
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I hobbled downstairs in my algorithmically chosen outfit and made a cup of coffee. Double
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espresso with a bit of hot water mixed in. While reading something on my computer, I
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accidentally spilled about half of the coffee onto my shirt. Luckily for me, the stains were
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practically invisible on the black t-shirt, and very little ended up on my pants. The only
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evidence that I had spilled something on myself that morning was the faint coffee smell that
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lingered after I mopped it up. But who doesn't love the smell of coffee? I actually wouldn't
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mind a cologne with the scent of the glorious roasted bean imbued into it. Similar to the
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clickety-clack sound of the mechanical keyboard, the coffee cologne might have the Pavlovian
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effect of stimulating the electronic productivity of the people around you. Free idea for any of
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our young entrepreneurial readers out there.
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</p>
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<p>
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You might be wondering why I spent more time than usual at this time of the morning thinking
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about what I'm wearing. Today, I am meeting my friend <i>ByteLord</i> for lunch at the vegan
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restaurant <i>Cha-Ya</i> on Valencia. <i>ByteLord</i> is a one-of-a-kind genius level programmer
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that I met on an IRC channel one evening. This guy slings code so neat and clean, he puts Linus
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Torvalds and that guy who made the <i>McMaster-Carr</i> catalog website to shame. Therefore,
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needless to say, I felt intimidated and eager to please.
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</p>
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<p>
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I got to <i>Cha-Ya</i> a little bit early and ordered a green tea while waiting for
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<i>ByteLord</i> to arrive. I spilled a little bit of this on my shirt as well. Unfortunately
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now, mixed with the coffee stain from earlier, the combination gave off a toilet smell that was
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quite unpleasant. I started praying that <i>ByteLord</i> had a cold and wouldn't be able to
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smell anything. Luckily the stains were still mostly invisible on my black t-shirt.
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</p>
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<p>
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When <i>ByteLord</i> walked in the front door, I almost mistook him for one of those cool
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hip-hopper guys. He was decked out from head to toe and looked <i>on fleek</i>.
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</p>
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<p>
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A typically chilly San Francisco summer afternoon, he was dressed for warmth. A beanie with an
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off-white pattern, reminiscent of the Windows XP start menu background. A comfy gray overshirt
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with a clean geometric pattern. Some kind of smart watch whose battery was obviously dead. Most
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tellingly, a *Java* t-shirt underneath the overshirt, which in the context of the rest of the
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outfit, gave the programming language an undeserved level of coolness.
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</p>
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<p>
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Besides the comfortable textiles, I was impressed with <i>ByteLord</i>'s choice of accessories.
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A wallet chain, which I hadn't seen anyone wear since the mid 2000's, added a metallic balance
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to the lower half of his appearance. His neck was adorned with a necklace that didn't appear to
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serve any functional purpose, but matched the wallet chain quite nicely. Finally, he was wearing
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rather large, television-sized eyeglass frames. Frankly, I had never given much thought to
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accessories in an outfit, unless they have some kind of microchip in them. But <i>ByteLord</i>
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had arranged them in such a way to make the outfit look effortless, yet stylish.
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</p>
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</div>
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